On April 14, 2019, as my son approached the 16th green of the Hermitage Country Club in the Junior Valentine Invitational, I watched from my iPhone as Tiger Woods won his 15th major by winning the 2019 Masters Championship. I cried as his son ran into his arms and mother hugged his neck never doubting his ability. I looked up at my own son, an aspiring collegiate golf athlete and smiled at the thought of what his own future may hold.
The journey of Tiger’s life has been remarkable. We’ve all watched him since 1996, when at the age of 20 he took the PGA by storm, and by many accounts revived the sport for so many aspiring athletes. His likeness was found all over the media and retail outlets. Young and old alike wanted to “be like Tiger!” He won his first Masters in 1997 by 12 strokes and another three PGA Tour events catapulting him to number one in the world rankings. His dominance in the sport was awe inspiring.
The world watched in judgement 13 years later as the GIANT Tiger Woods’ personal life fell apart. His marriage crumbled with his career in tandem. His indiscretions were revealed publicly for the world to watch. In addition, personal injury continued to debilitate him as he underwent four back surgeries. The injury often brought him to his knees on the course as he attempted to make a comeback to the sport he obviously loved; and we loved to watch him play.
My own household spoke his name most weeks as he continued to “disappoint” our faith in him as an athlete and human-being. Every new woman reviled. Every tournament he withdrew from. Every stroke that brought him to his knees. The world criticized and demolished his ethical fiber and his athletic talent.
Despite our best efforts, we all judge others. And with the prevalence of social media we judge publicly and shamelessly. In most cases we are careless about the facts and champion our own opinions of the situation. And those opinions seem to grow like cancer as our “friends” from Facebook, Instagram and Twitter chime in. Before you know it we have a universe of opinions grounded on emotion. All of this leads me to believe that judgement isn’t defining who they are, but defining who we are. This roller-coaster of events plays out too often in the fire service. Brotherhood and Sisterhood evaporates as personal preservation and recognition take precedence.
So how does this stop? I challenge you to become less judgmental by being mindful. Pause. Try understanding before speaking. Will Smith was quoted as saying, “Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.”
“Just like me.” Remember, we are more alike than different. We love our families, we want to be happy, we all make mistakes….just like I do!
Educate yourself. If you feel like you need to know, then ask the questions and get the accurate information. Start with the person you’re judging. I suspect they would be happy to share fact over fiction. Give the benefit of the doubt. I suspect no one wakes up and puts their feet on the ground with the mantra “I think I’m going to be an ass today.” The Dalai Lama shared: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.”
For all of us who have been judged, I’m reminded that nothing lasts forever. We shouldn’t allow those judgements to take a permanent place in our memory banks. Those judgements can fuel our comebacks and strengthen our resolve.
As for Tiger Woods, while we sat and judged his life, he was returning to the profession in his read shirt and spikes, all the way back from the golfing dead. Tiger isn’t a machine. He’s a human, like all of us. He regained his focus. He stopped listening to the cynicism and put his pain, both emotional and physical, aside. He found strength is focusing on his mental and physical health. He has delivered a vintage Tiger triumph! And I can’t help but believe that as he placed his arms into the green Masters jacket, Tiger did it for his fans who never gave up on him; and simply gave a silent middle finger to those of us who had the nerve to judge him.